Can you be a Lighthouse Parent?

THE LIGHTHOUSE PARENT STRATEGY

Let’s talk about what it means to be a Lighthouse Parent. It’s a concept coined by pediatrician Kenneth Ginsburg, and it’s worth considering. Basically, a Lighthouse Parent is someone who stays steady and visible—offering guidance, security, and perspective—without micromanaging their kid’s every move

Picture this: your child comes home totally drained, venting about a group project where they’re doing all the work. The deadline’s coming up, and they’re frustrated and overwhelmed. Now, most of us default to “fix-it” mode. We jump in with advice: “Tell your group what to do.” “Make sure the teacher knows what you did.” “I’ll email the teacher myself.”

Totally understandable, right? But while those responses come from a good place, they often miss what our kid actually needs in that moment. Jumping straight to action can make it feel like the solution is always our job—not theirs. And over time, that can send the message that they’re not capable of figuring things out on their own.

Sometimes, what our kids really need is just to feel seen and heard.

Instead of rushing in to solve it, try pausing and saying:
“Wow, that sounds like a lot.”
“I can tell you’re putting in a ton of effort.”
“Do you have any thoughts on how you want to handle it?”

That small shift—acknowledging their feelings and letting them take the lead—goes a long way. It builds confidence, resilience, and trust. And it reminds them they’ve got someone in their corner who believes in their ability to handle hard things, without needing to take the wheel for them.

💡 Parent / Caregiver Coaching Notes

Challenge: Do this every time for a month then please share your results with me.

Sources:
Ginsburg, Kenneth R., Lighthouse Parenting: Raising Your Child with Loving Guidance for a Lifelong Bond. American Academy of Pediatrics, 2023.